A Voice

Post

I’m in a room. There aren't any doors or windows, just four walls. They look rigid yet soft. They're put together, clean and professional. They look just like any other wall. I’m standing in the middle of the room. There’s nothing there. Just me and my voice. I want to leave but I can’t find a way out. I can hear people screaming from beyond the walls. I can hear their voices, but they can’t seem to hear mine.

I don’t like it here.

I start banging my fists on the walls, begging for release. I kicked, thrashed, and punched. Anything to break them down. The voices were yelling from the other side, getting louder. They were saying something. I stopped moving and listened to them.

Join the movement. Break out and do the right thing.

There was nothing else to do in here. I felt useless, I wanted to help them. They wanted me to come out. I have to come out! I picked myself off the ground, my limbs weighing me down. I kept going. My body hurt, my head hurt. Everything hurt. I fell to the floor again in pain. Is this really what they wanted me to do? It seemed futile to keep hurting myself for this cause. Is it worth it to leave the room?

In my pain, I hear more voices. These ones were different. They were inside the room.

They sounded like they knew what they were doing. I don’t really understand what they’re saying but I feel like I should trust them. They don’t want me to break out, they know more than I do.

Fix the system! Break out of the room!

I could hear them yelling outside. They're so loud, what are they being loud for?

The inside voices became urgent. Their authority vanished. They sound desperate now. I finally understand what they’re saying.

They don’t want me to leave.

Why? Why can't I leave?! I need to break out! I don’t want to feel helpless anymore.

I use all the strength I have left and slam myself into the wall. My body goes limp as it breaks through.

This feeling of pride swells in me. I feel good about this, I need to keep going.

I get up and limp towards the light at the end of the tunnel. The people yelling outside were no longer yelling. They’re speaking, explaining. I listened. I understand now.

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Published December 8, 2020

Written by Abinaya Balaji ~ Edited by Clara Reyes ~ Graphics created by Elwin Fu