the beginning was dark.
I remember looking into an abyss.
although, maybe that isn’t the word for it,
an abyss suggests the lack of something.
the emptiness was everything.
despite that, I was okay.
I had no dolls to play with nor a crayon to color
but I was okay.
the beginning was dark, but then I grew older.
content has the shelf life of a fly.
so I made my own light, my own little world.
I invented beauty and instinct.
I brought the innocent and strange together.
my hope wasn’t to just free myself from my own boredom,
but to build something bigger than myself as well.
something wonderful.
I was am an idealist.
at first it was wonderful.
art, language, knowledge
it made me feel okay again.
content has the shelf life of a fly.
the innocent became arrogant and the strange were called evil.
I couldn’t control it,
I lost that ability a long time ago.
free will can be a menace.
it only got worse.
I knew death was inevitable in this world that I created,
because there is no light without darkness,
but I had never fully realized its true potential.
corruption and ignorance conquered every corner.
but every now and then content visits.
she waves like an old friend who I haven’t seen in a long time
although she always leaves quicker than she arrives.
pain and hatred never left
and soon I’d be lost all over again.
I am young, but I have suffered through thousands of lifetimes.
I’d often reminisce at the times when I was in the dark.
in my non-abyss, before I made my own light
but I realize now that it wasn’t any better.
this world was is wonderful,
that part never left.
its resistance towards corruption, ignorance, pain, and hatred makes it so.
now when content leaves I still feel okay, for I know she always comes back.
Published October 17, 2020
Written by Abi Mirambel
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