“The hospital smell is worse than usual today.”
“The what?” questioned the nurse walking beside me.
My eyes widened in shock. We don’t partake in conversation whenever we walk down the hospital corridors. I didn’t mean to say that out loud, even if I did mean it. No matter how long I’ve been here, the smell never seems to fade. It’s like a constant reminder to lose all hope as soon as you enter those doors. Well, I guess it’s time to save face.
“No! I meant-”
“It’s alright, you get used to it,” said the nurse, who cut off my explanation before I could fix my reputation as a kind mother.
The nurses here aren’t given the credit that they deserve. Not only do they need to take care of all the patients here, but they have to put up with my bullshit. I’d rather die than tell them that though.
“Anyways, thank you again for coming in. During the examination, we found your son broke more than we had initially thought” The nurse continued.
Right, they called me and I had to cancel work again. I can barely hear what she’s saying, every sound I hear just echoes off the walls; in one ear, out the other.
“He didn’t just break his leg a few times?” I asked.
A man in room 204 coughs, probably because he can’t breathe properly.
“We found 2 breaks in his ribs, 4 breaks in his humerus and an ankle fracture.”
That’s going to cost a lot. I can barely afford to pay for regular treatment and Craig doesn’t work.
“Can I see him?”
The nurse nods — I never learned her name, did I? — and gestures to the open door to my son’s hospital room. I smile, nodding, trying not to show the stress on my face after hearing her words. I enter the door to be greeted by my son, Cal, he’s in a hospital bed with every single tube imaginable poked into his fragile body. It’s hard to see him like that, how can anyone sit like that and smile while drinking a box of apple juice.
“Hey buddy” I say in the best excited tone I can muster. I smile awkwardly as I walk into the dinky little hospital room with the dresser in the corner to keep his clothes because he’s here all the time.
“Hi mommy!”
Mommy’s here to see me at the hospital. I’m in the hospital so much that they gave me my own private room! They even let me make it look cool! So, it has these awesome blue walls and the dresser in the corner is covered in stickers. Everytime I'm a good kid, the nurses give me stickers to put on my sticker dresser. I feel like those kids in books where they get their own room and they can invite friends over and play.
“The nurse just told me you broke a few more bones,” she says.
I never mean it when I break bones, it just happens. I have this super rare bone disease but I don’t remember the name for it. Ryan calls me Glass Bones, he’s really mean.
“Yeah...it’s okay though! I’ll get better and everything's going to be okay!” I say proudly.
Which is true! A great thing about the hospital is that I have a lot of time to do stuff! I’m watching this show where everyone has superpowers and my favorite character, he has a super power that’s SO powerful it breaks his BONES! He’s just like me! I’m going to be strong and fight villains just like him one day. I take a sip of my apple juice. Mommy smiles again.
Mommy’s cell phone rings. It’s some really old jazz song, I don’t remember the name though.
“I have to take this okay? I'll be right back.”
It’s Craig. I really don’t want to talk to him right now. I picked it up.
“Hello?”
“How much money is in the account?” Craig asks suddenly.
“$3000. Why?”
“I found this new treatment for Cal and-”, I cut him off.
“Stop with the treatments. We barely have enough to live and pay rent”
“If we just fixed him then we wouldn’t have to be paying an endless money pit” Craig exclaims, the anger in his voice becoming apparent.
I stay silent.
“We can fix him, I know it. This is going to work” Craig says, continuing on about to suggest his idea.
What is his problem? Why won’t he get a job to help me? It’s my money feeding the endless black pit.
“Get a job, Craig.” I reply.
Silence.
“No treatment is going to fix him.”
Silence.
“We just need to accommodate him. If you help me-”
Loud.
“I’M trying to help my son! YOU don’t seem to care at all!” Craig screams, the frustration from before amplifying tenfold. “All you care about is the money, your job, your career. I’m starting to think I should have just left you.”
Click. Craig’s gone. The silence in the dim hospital hallway makes the worries I pushed away take center stage.
Cal’s not going to get better.
I’m going to get better!
He’s not going to make it, is he?
I’m going to defeat all the bad villains!
He’s not happy here.
The nurses bring me apple juice!
He’s hurting.
I feel invincible!
I’m a terrible mother.
Mommy? Mommy! What are you doing outside?
END
Published November 30, 2021
Written by Abinaya Balaji ~ Edited by Laiba Muhammad ~ Graphics created by Abinaya Balaji
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